What do Michael Jordan and J.K. Rowling have in common? Success of course and the mental tenacity of an ox to get there.
When Michael Jordan was rejected in his sophomore year by his school’s basketball varsity team because he was only 5’9” at that time, he didn’t hang up his shoes, convinced he wasn’t good enough. Instead, he practiced daily without fail. By next year’s tryouts, Jordan at 6’3” made varsity and… the rest is history.
J.K. Rowling, famous author of the Harry Potter series, has had her share of abysmal failures. Pre-Harry Potter success, Rowling was a single mom on welfare. This did not stop her from being one of the most successful authors of our time. In fact, it was this very situation that helped her focus on her talent.
Both Jordan and Rowling have that bull-headed mental strength that defined their despite-the-odds success stories.
It’s so easy to be mired in life’s disappointments. When life knocks us down with a Pacquiao punch, we tend to wallow in its pity soup of what-ifs, my faults, I’m a loser, and can’t do’s. Getting up and trying again just takes a lot out from us. Much like exercise, it’s way too painful to go for an hour of CrossFit torment, three times a week than it is to gratify one’s self for the short run by simply vegging out, scarfing down Tim Tams and Twisties, and gaining twenty pounds in the process. But while the scrumptious, easy road ends up in more self-pity and a barrel figure, the arduous fitness track leads to the reward of self-achievement and a six pack.
So what should you choose? The Tim Tams! Okay, okay...the CrossFit sessions, geez! That’s right. Oh yeah, and you better have the mental grit for it. Tough mental cookies, Jordan and Rowling, have mental tenacity down pat. Observe those whom you think are mentally strong and take note of what they avoid.
A Mental Toughie’s No-No’s
The Self-Pity Party
Mentally tough people do revel in self-pity; but, believe me it’s timed to ten seconds, max. People who don’t crack under pressure easily recognize that life isn’t always fair but there are ways to get around or work with the cards you’ve been dealt with. Hence, the trite “if there’s a will, there’s a way” cliché.
Failure is not seen as an inadequacy; rather, it is perceived as a learning opportunity. The truly strong beat their mental chests, bellow a Tarzan call, and then focus on the problem. They look at the issue at different angles and analyze their past mistakes to come up with new and different solutions. The more creative usually think out of the box, and this, my friends, is when great ideas are sometimes born.
The Worry Wart’s Bash
The mentally strong also do not waste time and energy on things beyond their control. If they can’t beat the tide, they may join in and spot opportunities. Mental Herculeans recognize that although you can’t control everything, you can control yourself --- your attitudes, perceptions, and reactions to situations.
Change is not shunned; rather, it is viewed as a window of opportunity. When the new competition around the corner is selling bigger and better, the entrepreneur who knows his marbles will use this threat as an opportunity to improve his product or business strategies.
When life gives them lemons, mental toughies just don’t make lemonade. They make kick-ass lemonade margaritas. That's because strong minds embrace change as the spice of life.
The Green Clutches of Envy
Mentally tough people avoid being envious or feeling cheated of other people’s success. They genuinely appreciate other people’s rewards earned from hard work. They do not compare their worth to that of others as they recognize that one reaps his trophies if one is willing to fully take the challenge. For them, success is at the end of the road, as long as one is committed to run the extra mile for it.
The Fear of Being Alone
Mental wimps are afraid or uncomfortable being alone with themselves and their thoughts. Mental juggernauts, on the other hand, do not fear solitude. They are not hermits; but these people can enjoy their own company. They do not need constant social interaction to feel validated, entertained, or inspired. Instead, they value their alone time to be productive, meditative, or to simply just “be.”
Missing the Big Leaps...and the Little Hops as Well
Mental toughies are calculated risk takers. They don’t shy away from making hard decisions; but these choices are often carefully weighed and considered. Mentally strong people usually look at the pros and cons of a situation, from best-to-worst case scenarios before making the leaps and even the tiny hops to take their chances. They possess a realistic perception of the consequences and benefits of their decisions.
Well balanced individuals tend to be optimistic about reaching their goals; but, they also possess enough pessimism to be realistically aware of the current validity and worthiness of their strategies and aspirations. Things are seen as they really are, not always through blind optimism and intemperate persistence.
Being mentally tough is itself a huge decision. Mental toughness is not achieved by simply deciding to be mentally strong; but, making such a decision to be so is a very good start. Unless you were born with it, you need to build that strength in layers, through trial and commitment. After all, a winner is never an instant production but a result of hard work and dedication. You have the power in you to achieve what you want. It is up to you to seize and hold on to it. Remember, the ball’s always in your court.
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